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| I feel like cherry wine
Like Valentines
Like a Spring is coming
And everything is all right
I've got a love that's new
I hear you're happy too
That's the way it should be
But lately I feel like crying o
[CHORUS:]
I wanna get over you
But you're everywhere
And I just can't get away
I gotta get over you
Cause it's just not fair
That I still see your face o
I heard your name today
I walked away
Cause everyone's still talking
I don't need that in my life
Got better things to do
Than worry about you
I'm gonna keep on walking
But sometimes I don't know why
[CHORUS]
Well we had a good time
But time goes on
You didn't really want me until I was gone
I wanna get over you
Before you get over me
Over me
[CHORUS]
::EDIT:: So i'll be gone for a while, im going on a trip. it'll be really good for me, get away from it all for a few days. Maybe when i get back ill actually learn to lose some weight instead of being a fat ass, maybe. Bye kids. <3 (PS- everyone download my black by 2pac, it's actually way good, which is surprising)
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| so it's monday. the night after new years eve. and guess how much i weigh? 140 bitcchheess!! yeah i know it's still a lot, but i haven't been eating much recently. i went away and drank so much on an empty stomache, i still feel the wrath of my bad ideas. okay so how much longer can i go? i love getting compliments from boys. it helps so much. the other night, after i had gone tanning, boys were continuely like "you have such a hot stomache..". its been fabulous. so all i need to do is keep starving myself...easier said than done. intake: b: scrambled eggs, green grapes l: water d: 1/2 cup of tortia soup current weight: 140 lbs goal weight: 120 lbs leave me some support kids. <3 ::edit:: oh yeah, im 5 feet, 9 inches new years resolution: try new things ::edit:: oh my GOD. i just ate the most i've had for a week. dear lord, i had strawberries for breakfast, soup for lunch, and then sushi/fish/green beans for DINNER and thennn i had a bowl of home made popcorn!!! WTF!?!?! i've just ruined an entire week of work, i bet im like a bajillion lbs now. thanks food. thanks a lot. im fasting tomorrow, maybe i'll have some coffee, but thats it. HELP!!! | | |
| so i know i just made an entry, but fuck it, its not like lots of people are reading this anyways. i want to start fresh, from the beginning. its come to my notice that i actually am no longer "thin". when people see me, they don't say "oh shes so small and skinny" they say "oh shes a big and athletic girl". its not so sweet. raise your hand if you never want to be called a "big and athletic girl". it's just another way of saying fat. fat. fat. fat. jesus. my thinspo will be worn on my wrist wherever i go. im so big. im starting to record my intake tomorrow. mmm, stupid food. as of now i weigh 146 lbs. dear god. <3 ::::EDIT::::
so the first day went alright. -i have this issue of making myself lose energy by just not eating and then giving up, so i hope i can do this slowly.
for breakfast i had an egg white omelett with cheese.
lunch was a fruit smoothie from robex.
dinner happened to be half a chicken/pesto wrap.
ugh.
i hope i can get through winter break.
i need support.
<3
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| yeah i know, i've been bad. very bad. it's awful.
i don't think i've written in here for months actually, and in those months i've gained so much weight.
i used to weigh 135 or less, i did ballet all the time, and now me and my fatass weigh 145.
im fat. i never used to be. i have love handles too. dear god, whats wrong with me?
does anyone know what i can do to get rid of the handles fast?
ugh, im not skinny anymore. but for some reason i just don't have the mentality to go back with ana, and its awful. over winter break im going to become best friends with her again.
actually, starting tomorrow. 
love, me. ::::EDIT:::: i dont think i've ever looked in the mirror so much and seen so much double chin. how did i get to this? but i just feel like i cannot lose weight, HELP ME, give me tips, ANYTHING!! seriously, im desperate.
please leave comments kids.
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| ahhh okay its been forever since ive been on this, literally, months.
and ive been awful, just terrible.
i joined a gym though, because my form of physical fitnessed ended because the season was over, but that god im leaving for camps soon to get back in shape.
anyways, im around 138 lbs these days, leaving SO much room for improvement, and my goal, being that i have a pool party friday, was to fast the week and look wonderful, but i swear i ate the most i ever have in my life today.
dear lord, shoot me now please.
i really don't know what to do, i think i just need to stop eating. i want bones, a whispy body, and i want to be skinny.
i will be.
stay strong, kids.
::::EDIT::::
mkay, so im doing well. saturday was the start on my "ana-ness" for the summer. im so obese, its gross. at 5"8 i weigh 137 lbs, ew, thats like normal, which is awful. who wants "normal"? i want, "ohmygod you look so thin dear..." and people that whisper when i go by "oooh look at her, shes so skinny" and they all might think its gross, but really they're just so jelous. well its been going well since saturday, seeing today's tuesday. ive been holding myself back from eating gross foods, but i dont just want to stop eating as a whole because then i plunge back into eating in only a few weeks and its awful.
well i went to a nutritionalist and she made this whole meal plan for me, and i started crying because i didnt want to eat "9 servings of grains" a day. fuck that, im not going back. im losing weight and i love it, and in 2.5 months, by the end of the summer, i will be just wonderfully whispy. mmmmm. sounds good.
<3 | | |
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